Phil & Valentina

We live about 10 miles from where President-Elect Obama announced his candidacy and his vice president in Springfield, IL.  Like other Illinois residents, we hope having an Illinois politician in the White House for the first time since Lincoln will result in greater federal funding to Illinois.  It certainly can't hurt.  To be honest I didn't think a minority or woman would be elected President in my lifetime, so I do think the election was historic.  I noticed other than the 2 home states of the Republican candidates for president/vice-president (AZ and AK), most of the former Confederate states and states with a high proportion of whites voted for the white Republican over the black Democrat though.  Still looks like there's room for growth in this country when it comes to racial issues, but certainly we've made progress.

 

I normally have little interest in politics, but became interested in this election because for the first time since I became eligible to vote I actually liked both candidates.  I do think it was an important election due to the current times, but I'm reminded that all men think their time in history is important.  It seems for most presidential elections, the two major candidates are Larry and Curly.  Moe is too smart to run for president.  For the first time, I had some common ground with both presidential candidates.  Obama like myself had worked and lived in Illinois, is in his 40s, and a minority.  I had less in common with McCain, but we both were Naval officers and anyone that has gone to a Navy home football game can't be all that bad.  I don't think the outcome was a surprise, since the country isn't doing well and most people voted to change the party of the current administration.  For the country's sake, I hope Obama does well.  Obama referred to Lincoln during his post election speech in Chicago.  I hope like Lincoln, he brings in the best people to his administration and not just those that agree with him.

 

Politics is an odd subject to even talk about.  Like religion, it does seem that ignorance doesn't negate one's ability to talk about the subject.  And like religion, politics seems to divide many people.  One thing I did like about both candidates was that both had a history of working well with the other party.  Another thing I though was odd in this election is that neither candidate had any major skeletons in their closet.  At least none came out during the campaign process.  Considering past elections, it seems amazing that there were no revelations of past legal or moral problems.  Maybe we finally got two honorable presidential candidates to choose from?  What's this country coming to?

Being a parent is the most important job anyone can have.  If one thinks of a manager being the most important job in the workplace, then being a parent (childhood manager) should be the most important job in life.  Being a manager is also difficult.  Which would explain why there's so few great managers.  I've worked for the state government, federal government, private sector and have yet to work for a great manager.  And likewise there are few great parents.  It seems it's just make it up as you go along, and try to keep educated and working hard at parenting.  It makes me sad too that I know several people that would make great parents but have no children, and know people that have children that aren't good parents.  Unfortunately, having a child doesn't grant one wisdom or knowledge about parenting.  I wish it were so.  And it seems many parents don't have the personal tools or resources to be good parents.  I don't believe everyone should have children, just like not everyone should be married.  Both take patience, love, sacrifice, and many other things that don't come naturally to anyone.

 

For myself, being a parent has made my life much more stable and enjoyable.  One of the great things about having a child, is looking at life through their eyes when they're growing.  Holidays are especially great for children too.  For adults, holidays can get tedious and even stressful.  Last Halloween was our son's first time trickotreating.  It had been close to 30 years since I had gone trickotreating.  Our son had a great time.  The weather was unusually warm which made it more enjoyable, and he liked ringing doorbells and seeing other kids in costumes.  By the end he figured out he was supposed to walk to the front door of each house, grab candy from a bowl, and put it in his sack.  He got lots of compliments for his vampire costume too.  The holiday season is coming soon and I can't wait for Christmas.  It will be the first Christmas where our son can walk and express himself.  His toys are also getting more interesting as his skills are increasing.  To see his face when he opens gifts will be great.  I've made some faces opening gifts too, but I wouldn't want to take a picture of those.

My wife and son visited my wife's family in Ukraine last summer.  This Saturday they'll have been back home as long as they were gone (73 days).  Their flight to Ukraine left on Father's Day.  I remember having an empty feeling on the drive home.  I would miss my wife, but that was tempered by the fact that I knew she would have a great time with her family.  But for our son I worried that the time spent overseas would be difficult.  It was of course.  He had fun on the beach and playing with his cousins.  But he missed his crib, toys, and of course me.  Like his father, he doesn't like his routine broken.  And as anyone that has visited Ukraine can attest, I can't imagine one's routine being broken any more than that.  I thought overall he did great though.  Much better than I thought he would.  He had fussy times, but that was to be expected.  We did webcam conversations on the weekend when they were in Ukraine.  When we first did a webcam call, our son looked at me on the computer screen as if to say, "What's my father doing in the computer?"  But by the end of their visit, he was dancing, babbling, and even putting his face right up to the screen.

 

With no one in the house, I thought the summer would be party time for me.  More freedom, no waking up in the middle of the night to crying, do what you want when you want.  But actually I was busy doing landscaping, painting, selling things online, and other house chores.  It did give me time to reflect on the recent changes in my life.  With getting married in '06 and the birth of our son in '07, it seems things have been real busy.  Last summer I was reminded how quiet things were before all of that.  I'm reminded of a quote in a western, "I don't like it.  It's too quiet."  Being single is great for some, but I can't imagine it for me.  Being a father isn't easy, but it has been an incredible experience.  I do wish I could have spent the summer with them in Ukraine.  Visiting my wife's family and seeing the places where we spent time together would have been great.  And to experience it as a family for the first time would have made it even more enjoyable.  I do plan on going back to Ukraine in the future, but it's years from now.  When I see pictures of our son in Ukraine last summer, I'm reminded that a part of me was there.

We were very happy that most of my family made it to Alex's birthday.  It's a 2 1/2 hour drive for them, so we really appreciated it.  We invited a few of our friends that lived nearby too.  Almost ran out of chairs for people to sit in.  We decorated the house with Winnie Pooh decorations.  I wanted Spiderman, but was vetoed.  We had plenty of food (probably too much), but with people traveling so far we didn't want people to go home hungry.  I've never bought a cake from Baskin Robbins before, but the Winnie Pooh cake looked great and tasted good too.  It sounded like everyone had fun, except for Alex.  He was very uncomfortable with so many people in the house and was very fussy the whole time.  It made things more difficult, but I think everyone understood.  Stranger anxiety is actually very common for his age.  After everyone left he played with his toys and was his usual happy self.  I just wished our guests could have seen him like that.  Oh well, it's just a phase he's going through.  Overall it was a good birthday and he got plenty of toys he likes to play with now.

 

I agree the first birthday is the most important to celebrate.  From 0 to 1 year old Alex has experienced more changes than he will at any other year in his life.  His weight tripled, he started to crawl, is cruising and walks with his hand held, had his first haircut, can see more clearly, went from bottle-feeding to eating table food, and has grown 8 teeth.  He can also organize his father's dresser (takes clothes from dresser and throws on floor), can unroll toilet paper and leave it in pile on bathroom floor (for our convenience), can close doors (hasn't mastered opening yet though), and generally gets into anything you leave within reach for more than a minute.  Sounds like time for a party to me.

 

We did see something odd when we went to buy birthday decorations for him.  A car parked near the store had a decal with a boy's name on it that had passed away last year.  What was odd was the date the boy had died was the same day Alex was born.  Some cultures believe that for something to be born, something has to die.  I can't say I believe that, but it did make me think how precious life is.  Maybe that's the main purpose of birthdays.  To remind us of the person's birth and life whose birthday it is while reflecting on our own lives.